RTF WEEK #09 - REALITY CHECK

This past 8 weeks with the Roadmap to Freedom sessions have given you a great deal of information to think about & take action towards a new you:

1. Creating your dream life story

2. Creating goals and affirmation

3. Understanding manipulation, power and control

4. The truth about fear

5. How to destress yourself

6. How to assert yourself

7. Learned about the Chatterbox (self-talk)

8. How to create compassionate positive thoughts

When we are working towards a goal, we often don’t look back to see how far we have traveled.  It’s time to acknowledge and congratulate yourself on your hard work!  This week you can review the last 8 weeks:

• How has your life changed?

• Are you viewing life from a different perspective?

• Are you feeling good about your personal growth?

• Can you see any change in your thoughts or behaviour?

• Can you acknowledge your progress, are you proud of it?

At his point, it could be a very good exercise to go review your dream story.  Is there anything you would like to modify?  Time changes everything and that’s okay.  Review and revise!

• Any changes to your dream story will possibly require editing your goals and affirmations.  Do you have any new goals you would like to add? 

• Any to delete or edit? 

You likely have a better understanding of your affirmations now.  Remember to feel the affirmations in your heart, feel your emotions and create that positive space.

• Are you feeling better about yourself?

• Have you been able to look at people with more compassion? 

• Can you understand angry people are full of pain?

Unhealed people sometimes act out with temper tantrums.  Have you been able to rationalize it’s all about them, and not about you? Do you realize they might be projecting their pain onto you?

How are your feeling about facing your unhealthy fears? 

Have you been working on facing the smallest of fears?

It’s a great sense of accomplishment, yes?

It seems so difficult at first but the more you face your fears, the more confidence you build!  Fear dissolves in the face of courage.  Taking baby steps in facing your smallest of fears can eventually give you an adrenaline rush.  It’s like a ladder:

• take your first step

• then the next step

• and next step

• before you know it, you are at the top of the ladder

Now that you know about your Chatterbox and its negativity, you have the power to turn the negative self talk into powerful, positive statements.  Feel the fear and do it anyway!

• think about it

• can you do it?

• keep on trying

• it will all come in time

• baby steps!

Everyone needs help in dealing with stress.  Why don’t they teach this to us in primary school?  Have you adopted any stress busters into your life?

• deep breathing

• stretching

• relaxing

• exercise

• self-talk

• creating new beliefs

Do you have a better understanding of what your beliefs are, how they can create stress within you? Have you mastered the onion effect process to find the truth hidden below your emotions? Are you managing to create new beliefs and new behaviours?  Try to always remember you cannot control others, but you can control your own reaction.  This is very empowering because it relieves within you the state helplessness.

• Have you tried asserting yourself?  This might require facing your fears! 

• Have you gained a better understanding of your needs and wants?

• Do you remember the necessity to create healthy boundaries? 

What you want is important!  As you allow yourself to chase your wants, your confidence can build and the more you grow into a beautiful person.  Again, this is related to facing your fear, the more you do it, the easier it gets. If you are not yet comfortable with setting boundaries and asking for what you want/need, please do not give up.  We will be talking about effective communication (to aid in this process) in a future session.  It’s all about learning new life skills, be patient and forgiving to yourself. 

Sometimes it is easy to fall back into old habits, we are human after all.  Just keep trying.  Mistakes are for learning what not to do next time.  Forgive yourself your mistakes and try to learn from them.  You have had an entire life on autopilot, now you are trying to change by becoming aware.  This work is not always easy, but it is worth it.  Yes, you will fall, but get right back up and keep on trying!

Try to be aware of your Chatterbox, your negative self talk:

• Does it continue to attack you?

  • self judgment?

  • rejection?

  • blame?

  • compares you to others?

You can assert yourself to your Chatterbox

• talk back to the negativity

• challenge the negative talk

• replace it with positive talk

• this alone can help face your fears

Are you learning to be compassionate to yourself? 

Is it helping you to understand, accept and forgive yourself? 

Knowledge is power!  You no longer have to beat yourself up for past choices:

Advise yourself, “I did the best I could in the circumstances I was living”

• Now your circumstances have changed

• Let it go, it is in the past

• You do know better now

  • it’s all about now and your future

  • it gets better along the way

  • with every step, you gain more confidence

  • with more confidence, you gain more personal power

  • one step at a time

Are you feeling empowered?  Imagine how much farther you can progress!  Whatever you believe, you can achieve.  Are you beginning to believe that you can be free from the self-imposed restraints you have been living?

• free from emotional pain

• free from worthlessness

• free from unhealthy fear

• free from the world you once lived in

• you can create a new life

• it really is all up to you

Staying positive can be difficult.  Society as a whole, automatically assumes negative is realistic and positive is unrealistic.  This makes the job of staying positive harder.  Here are some suggestions:

• Stop watching the daily news – reports negative events

• It's rare to find positive news

• People love chatting about negative world news

  • anything important will be sent to you

Adopting a positive attitude takes work.  If negative thoughts take your power away, then, it only stands to reason that positive thoughts will help you gain personal power. 

Positive thinking is a daily chore, without practicing these skills daily you will fall back into negative chatter. 

• Do you shower everyday?

• Do you apply your makeup everyday?

Think of positive thinking as a refreshing activity, begin your day on a positive note!

Are you working on your personal affirmations daily?  Can you feel the positive effects they are having on your life?  Review the affirmations often, add and delete as required.  What is important to you one week, can change because your life is constantly changing. 

It’s time to realize life is all about your choices.  Remember to reinforce your Chatterbox with things like:

“If it is to be, it is up to me”

“I want to be happy, I intend to be happy, I am happy”

Commit yourself to removing negativity, replacing it with positive and it can change your life.  Once you have mastered this, and you will with time, life only gets better!  Your emotions are a wonderful gage of your thoughts.  Recognize this, stay alert and learn to change your thoughts. As you become a more positive person, your energy level can increase and more positive people will be drawn into your life.  There is some truth to the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together”.

Above everything else, be grateful for your life and all its experiences (good and bad).  Try to twist all negativity to into positive outcome.  Do you believe there is silver lining in every cloud?  Challenges are put in your path to grow, not to fall.  If you do fall remember to take the time you need to recover and rise again!

Life is certainly full of twists and turns:

• it will knock you down

  • some days are happy highs

  • some days are unhappy lows

• recognize the wave and ride it

  • try to stay positive

  • try to remain hopeful

  • try to keep your faith

  • try to stand strong

  • try to handle your fears from a position of power

• when in doubt, try, try again

When you get knocked down, just know, you don’t have to stay down.  Believe you will always find a way back up and you will.

This week is a checkpoint to help you admire your personal growth.  Congratulate yourself…do something positive!  Celebrate with something just for you!  You deserve it!  Recognize your hard work and keep on going.  You got this!

Up next... WEEK #10 - ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION

Feel free to review previous WEEKS of ROADMAP TO FREEDOM posts:

RTF WEEK #01 – DARE TO DREAM (inpursuitofhealing.org)

RTF WEEK #02 - GOALS & AFFIRMATIONS (inpursuitofhealing.org)

RTF WEEK #03 - MANIPULATION, POWER & CONTROL (inpursuitofhealing.org)

RTF WEEK #04 - THE TRUTH ABOUT FEAR (inpursuitofhealing.org)

RTF WEEK #05 - DESTRESS YOURSELF (inpursuitofhealing.org)

RTF WEEK #06 - ASSERT YOURSELF (inpursuitofhealing.org)

RTF WEEK #07 - THOUGHTS and BELIEFS (inpursuitofhealing.org)

RTF WEEK #08 - COMPASSIONATE POSITIVE THOUGHTS (inpursuitofhealing.org)

Friendly reminder self talk … "If it is to be, it's up to me!"

Experiencing a bad day? 

Review your Dream Life Story.  It can fill you up with much needed faith, hope and determination.  Above all else, never, every, give up…tomorrow is new day that can bring you new possibilities.

The Roadmap to Freedom personal growth series is a unique, one-of-a-kind program created by Ali Shilo. All rights reserved. Copyright 2024

Questions? 

Contact Ali … info.inpursuitofhealing@gmail.com